What to expect in your first session?

Written by Evan Vukets, RCC, Registered Clinical Counsellor in Abbotsford, BC. I support men in Abbotsford, the Fraser Valley, and online across BC. Learn more about me

Edited September 28th, 2025

You have already read What is Counselling and booked your first counselling session, and now you’re wondering what it will actually be like?

You might wonder, What do I say? What will the counsellor ask me? Do I need to share everything right away?

These are normal questions. Most people feel a little nervous before their first session. The good news is: the first session isn’t about doing everything at once. It’s about taking a step, meeting your counsellor, and starting to see if it feels like the right fit.

Why the First Session Matters

Counselling is not a 'one-size-fits-all', it looks different for everyone. Some men come for stress at work. Others want support through burnout, relationship struggles, past trauma, etc... No two stories are the same.

While the path of counselling can look different, the first session usually follows the same rhythm.

There are two main goals:

1. Comfort and connection. Making sure you feel comfortable in the space, whether it’s in person at the office in Abbotsford or online through the Telehealth platform (Colib).

   
   

2. Getting to know you. I will ask you questions to understand your challenges, your strengths, and what you hope to get from counselling.

This first step isn’t about labels or quick fixes. It’s about creating a foundation so you and your counsellor can decide together how best to move forward and how counselling can help.

Do I Have to Share Everything?

A common worry is: “Do I have to tell my whole story right away?”

The answer is no. You only need to share what you feel comfortable sharing. Counselling is built on trust, and trust takes time.

If we are working together, as you get to know me, you might choose to share more of your story. But there’s no pressure to unpack everything in one sitting.

If a question comes up through the process that feels uncomfortable, you can always pause, ask why it was asked, or skip it. You are in control of what you share.

Common Questions Your Counsellor Might Ask

If you have been to counselling before you have probably noticed that every counsellor has their own style, but most first sessions follow a similar outline and share common questions. These help the counsellor understand where to begin and how to support you. For example, a few common questions I ask clients on a first session are:

• What brought you to counselling?

• Have you been to counselling before? What was helpful? What wasn’t?

• Is there a specific challenge or roadblock you’d like to start with?

• Do you have any goals for counselling? (Examples: managing racing thoughts, improving communication, working through procrastination, depression management, etc.)

• How will you know if counselling is helping?

• What do you want your life to look like when counselling feels complete?

It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers. Even having a general sense of why you reached out is enough for a starting point.

Questions You Can Ask Your Counsellor

The first session is also your chance to get to know the counsellor. Just like they’re learning about you, you can ask them questions too. For example:

• Have you worked with clients who faced challenges like mine?

• How often do you recommend sessions, and how long are they?

• What’s your education and registration? (This is important if you plan to use extended health benefits.)

Counselling is about fit. If the counsellor’s style, experience, or availability doesn’t feel right, you’re not stuck. You can keep looking or ask for a referral. The right match matters.

What a First Session Might Feel Like

Imagine walking into my office.

Once you sign in with Jenna at reception, I will meet you in the waiting room and greet you. I will offer you a tea or coffee, and show you where my office is.

Once you sit down in the comfortable blue couch or supportive yellow chair I will start the session by introducing myself and explaining how the session will work. I will share a bit about confidentiality and what you can expect moving forward.

Shortly, the real therapeutic conversation begins. It isn’t an interrogation. It’s a dialogue. You talk about what’s been weighing on you. I will listen, asks questions to better get to know your story, and reflect back what I hear.

By the end, I may share my initial understanding of what you’re facing and suggest a general direction for the next sessions. You’ll also have the chance to ask your own questions.

How to Prepare

You don’t need to bring anything special to a first session. But here are a few ways you can feel more ready:

• Take a moment to reflect on why you reached out. What do you hope counselling might help with?

• Think about what you’d like life to feel like if counselling is helpful.

• Write down any questions you want to ask me.

Preparation doesn’t have to be perfect. Just show up, and we can work on the rest together.

Online vs. In-Person: What’s Best for a First Session?

Clients who are located in Abbotsford or the surrounding cities in the Fraser Valley may choose to come into the office for their first counselling session. Sitting face-to-face can feel grounding and give you a sense of connection right away.

Online counselling is also a strong option. Many clients disclose that being in their own space helps them relax and open up. And if you live outside Abbotsford, online therapy makes counselling more accessible without the travel time.

Both options are valid and flexible. The best one is the one that helps you show up. If you are still undecided on a first session, or which counsellor to work with, you can read more about fee consultations here.

Final Thoughts

The first counselling session is not a test. It’s a conversation. A chance to meet your counsellor, share what’s on your mind, and see if it feels like a good fit.

You don’t have to tell your whole story. You don’t have to have all the answers. You only need to take the first step.

If you’re considering starting counselling in Abbotsford, the Fraser Valley, or online across BC, I’d be glad to meet you. Together, we can take that first step toward building a life that feels grounded, connected, and your own.

If you are ready to take the first step by booking a session, I look forward to meeting you.